In the middle of a speech to a joint session of congress, the President (the first real president we've had in eight years) was interrupted briefly by a town hall, tea party asshole shouting "that's a lie." Oh wait, no, that was no town hall hooligan. That was a SENATOR FROM SOUTH CAROLINA. Proving that the south has absolutley no redeeming value whatsoever, Senator Shitface (R, South Carloina) decided that the best way to publicly display his lack of any kind of education, and incompetance at a job that he gets paid for (paid far too much it seems), was to heckle the president and call him a liar publicly. Let me see if I can wade through the southern, scumbag, non-intelligence on display and understand this. After eight years of the most lying, secretive, and condescending White House this country has ever seen, Senator Fuckface thinks that it's a good idea to call Obama a liar because Obama said that health care reform will NOT cover illegal immegrants, which is a completely accurate statement. Brilliant, Senator Dickhead. Thanks for giving me one more reason to want to remove the south from the country like the cancerous tumor that it is. The previous fake president had a laundry list of lies that you never questioned, but when Obama says something that is TRUE you think that he is lying. Whether or not health care reform is passed, I think that this congressman should have all heath coverage mandatorily revoked, so that he may rid us of his dead weight. And that goes for the rest of the south as well. Stop holding us back because you're mad that we "progressives" can walk upright.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Republicans hate facts.
The health care "debate" has proven that there are two kinds of people in this country: people who understand how to discuss differences of opinion in a productive way, and republicans. Thus far, every argument made by the Grand Torture Party has revolved around statements that are, to put it mildly, completely fictional. As such the "debate" has become the equivalent of trying to convince an insane person that there are not gremlins in the sewer system that are trying to kill humanity so that they can come to live on the surface. You just can't do it, no matter how hard you try. It wouldn't be a big deal, except that now, many of the crazy people are public officials responsible for important facets of our daily lives.
If the Torture Party wanted to be truly productive in this project, they would be raising concerns about how the plans would be paid for, and how to stop businesses from simply dropping their own health insurance for employees, thereby forcing people to use the public option. (Side note: for as much as the Torture Party goes on and on about government "forcing" people to do whatever, it is more often the businesses that they profusely defend that forces people to do anything. Any time legislation is passed that in any way helps workers, businesses twist it and throw a temper tantrum like a bunch of babies. See FMLA and how ever since that was passed, employers rarely offer their employees sick days. Because employers are a bunch of cumstains.) But instead, we get a bunch of hillbillies running around spouting angry rants of bullshit because they're mad that there is a black president, and if he actually does well, it will lead the way for more minority presidents. What's next? A GAY president? Oh my fucking god! These people, as annoying as their very existence is, should be allowed to say these idiotic things. But where are the intelligent people in this debate? Where are the "freedom rallies" for thinking people? I do believe in the freedom of speech no matter what moron is opening his mouth, but I would like to defend the freedom of speech for people who actually use their gray matter on at least a few occasions. Come on post-neanderthals, where are you?
And can we stop dancing around the issue, and call a spade a spade? Stop crying about "taking America back," or "stopping big government" and just say what you mean: "I hate that there is a black man in the White House." Just say that, and I wouldn't have more respect for your white-power ass, but at least you'd have your integrity.
If the Torture Party wanted to be truly productive in this project, they would be raising concerns about how the plans would be paid for, and how to stop businesses from simply dropping their own health insurance for employees, thereby forcing people to use the public option. (Side note: for as much as the Torture Party goes on and on about government "forcing" people to do whatever, it is more often the businesses that they profusely defend that forces people to do anything. Any time legislation is passed that in any way helps workers, businesses twist it and throw a temper tantrum like a bunch of babies. See FMLA and how ever since that was passed, employers rarely offer their employees sick days. Because employers are a bunch of cumstains.) But instead, we get a bunch of hillbillies running around spouting angry rants of bullshit because they're mad that there is a black president, and if he actually does well, it will lead the way for more minority presidents. What's next? A GAY president? Oh my fucking god! These people, as annoying as their very existence is, should be allowed to say these idiotic things. But where are the intelligent people in this debate? Where are the "freedom rallies" for thinking people? I do believe in the freedom of speech no matter what moron is opening his mouth, but I would like to defend the freedom of speech for people who actually use their gray matter on at least a few occasions. Come on post-neanderthals, where are you?
And can we stop dancing around the issue, and call a spade a spade? Stop crying about "taking America back," or "stopping big government" and just say what you mean: "I hate that there is a black man in the White House." Just say that, and I wouldn't have more respect for your white-power ass, but at least you'd have your integrity.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Racism is still alive and well, for some reason.
With all the accusations of racism, and reverse racism, being thrown around, it's obvious humanity needs a primer on the subject. Apparently no one understands what racism is, but, fortunately for you drones, I am here to help.
First of all: Yes it is possible for people other than white males to be racist. This is not, however, reverse racism it's just plain old racism. You see racism is judging one's character or worth based primarily on skin color or ethnic background. So a black man saying that all white people are racist is racist. It's not fucking rocket science. I do find it amusing when pundits (i.e. idiots) use "reverse racism" as some kind of industry buzzword, because it implies that, yes, all white people are racist, and anyone who says so is racist. It's a fucking stupid thing to say.
Second: Being a racist when you are caught up in the heat of emotion is still racist. If a chinese woman cuts you off in traffic and you mutter to yourself: "Fucking chink woman driver..." you are being racist. Being angry doesn't justify your racism, otherwise lynching would be perfectly legal. In fact, I would venture a guess as to say that all racism occurs (or originates from) some douchebag being angry at someone who is not like them.
Third: Not getting your ass kicked after muttering some racist nonsense by a person of the offended race is not a license to continue being a moronic racist. If you tell a joke about black people to a black man and he doesn't kick your ass (or even worse, he laughs) this does not absolve you of your bigot guilt. This is an extremely common justification, most often used by a group of white dudes who told a racist joke to the one black guy in the room, and the black guy didn't try to fight them all. If a white guy found himself in the middle of a group of black guys, and one of them told a particularly scathing joke about white people, I guarantee you that white guy will be roaring with laughter (for fear of getting the beating of his life). Do you now see why this is not a justification?
Fourth: Not everyone shares your idiotic views. Racist minorities assume that all white people are racist. Racist white people assume that all minorities are secretly racist and that all other white people are as racist as they are. Guess what, jackass: it isn't true. There are in fact people on this earth who have either realized how ultra-idiotic racism is, or were born with enough brains to have known this all along. There are minorities that don't fucking care if some white dude drives through their neighborhood. Ther are some white people who don't fucking care if the new neighbors are not also white. (Some would actually prefer to try to decipher broken english or jive to the ignorant rantings of redneck neighbors.) So, racists, stop compounding your stupid by believing everyone to be as dumb as you are.
Fifth: You are not different. This may be a bitter pill to swallow, racists, but the fact remains. You are no better than the person/race/ethnicity/culture you are bashing. For every poverty-soaked, three-million-children having, nasty-ass-apartment living, welfare-taking minority there is an equal number of poverty-soaked, three-million-children having, nasty-ass-trailer living, welfare-taking rednecks. For every upper-middle-class, materialistic, uptight, snobbish white person, there are an equal number of upper-middle-class, materialistic, uptight, snobbish minorities. Do you want to know what else all of these people have in common? They are all intellectual bottom-feeders who need racism to make them feel better about their failure at life.
Sixth: The fact that racism still exists, let alone takes center stage in almost everything is something that we should be ashamed of. Congratulations humanity, you've failed your basic proficiency test. You've been given thousands of years to study, but instead you wasted that time masturbating to cartoons and drinking vodka by yourself. The reason that this is such a pathetic failure is because it's not that hard to fix. Here, I'll give you the formula, and it's really easy: "no one cares." The next time some racist monolgue fills your tiny brain, just repeat those words until you've forgotten what you were thinking about, and go on about your business of watching NASCAR or listening to Kanye West. And please, try to stay the hell out of the way of the rest of us. We have shit to do that actually serves a purpose.
First of all: Yes it is possible for people other than white males to be racist. This is not, however, reverse racism it's just plain old racism. You see racism is judging one's character or worth based primarily on skin color or ethnic background. So a black man saying that all white people are racist is racist. It's not fucking rocket science. I do find it amusing when pundits (i.e. idiots) use "reverse racism" as some kind of industry buzzword, because it implies that, yes, all white people are racist, and anyone who says so is racist. It's a fucking stupid thing to say.
Second: Being a racist when you are caught up in the heat of emotion is still racist. If a chinese woman cuts you off in traffic and you mutter to yourself: "Fucking chink woman driver..." you are being racist. Being angry doesn't justify your racism, otherwise lynching would be perfectly legal. In fact, I would venture a guess as to say that all racism occurs (or originates from) some douchebag being angry at someone who is not like them.
Third: Not getting your ass kicked after muttering some racist nonsense by a person of the offended race is not a license to continue being a moronic racist. If you tell a joke about black people to a black man and he doesn't kick your ass (or even worse, he laughs) this does not absolve you of your bigot guilt. This is an extremely common justification, most often used by a group of white dudes who told a racist joke to the one black guy in the room, and the black guy didn't try to fight them all. If a white guy found himself in the middle of a group of black guys, and one of them told a particularly scathing joke about white people, I guarantee you that white guy will be roaring with laughter (for fear of getting the beating of his life). Do you now see why this is not a justification?
Fourth: Not everyone shares your idiotic views. Racist minorities assume that all white people are racist. Racist white people assume that all minorities are secretly racist and that all other white people are as racist as they are. Guess what, jackass: it isn't true. There are in fact people on this earth who have either realized how ultra-idiotic racism is, or were born with enough brains to have known this all along. There are minorities that don't fucking care if some white dude drives through their neighborhood. Ther are some white people who don't fucking care if the new neighbors are not also white. (Some would actually prefer to try to decipher broken english or jive to the ignorant rantings of redneck neighbors.) So, racists, stop compounding your stupid by believing everyone to be as dumb as you are.
Fifth: You are not different. This may be a bitter pill to swallow, racists, but the fact remains. You are no better than the person/race/ethnicity/culture you are bashing. For every poverty-soaked, three-million-children having, nasty-ass-apartment living, welfare-taking minority there is an equal number of poverty-soaked, three-million-children having, nasty-ass-trailer living, welfare-taking rednecks. For every upper-middle-class, materialistic, uptight, snobbish white person, there are an equal number of upper-middle-class, materialistic, uptight, snobbish minorities. Do you want to know what else all of these people have in common? They are all intellectual bottom-feeders who need racism to make them feel better about their failure at life.
Sixth: The fact that racism still exists, let alone takes center stage in almost everything is something that we should be ashamed of. Congratulations humanity, you've failed your basic proficiency test. You've been given thousands of years to study, but instead you wasted that time masturbating to cartoons and drinking vodka by yourself. The reason that this is such a pathetic failure is because it's not that hard to fix. Here, I'll give you the formula, and it's really easy: "no one cares." The next time some racist monolgue fills your tiny brain, just repeat those words until you've forgotten what you were thinking about, and go on about your business of watching NASCAR or listening to Kanye West. And please, try to stay the hell out of the way of the rest of us. We have shit to do that actually serves a purpose.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
5 Conservative Blogs That Will Make You Dumber Just By Reading Them:
1. Atlas Shrugs
Besides the fact that it was named after the shitty book that seems to have presented a central theme for republicans over the years (greed is good), Atlas Shrugs is a blog by Pamela Geller who's credentials include... well it seems she has the same credentials that I have (i.e. none). Somehow she's managed to scam her credential-less ass into some public-speaking gigs. But as for her blog, it becomes pretty obvious what her agenda is (but conservatives don't have an agenda, only liberals, gays, and terrorists have agendas...), so let's look at the most recent posts.
Iran Revolution Day 30 Here's one about a woman who was arrested and raped by Iranian police after a protest. Okay that's not too bad. Probably a good story to get out there.
Ah, here we go. In the same post we get to the “Obama is a terrorist, muslim, dark-skinned, anti-christ” post. Wow, the Decepticons are going to cling to that song until their dying day. So here we have the “story” about President Barack Obama (no mention of pentagon, armed forces, or congressional officials is made, as if Obama was sitting in the Oval Office late one night and said to himself: 'You know what? I'm going to randomly release Iranians..”) releasing five Iranians who had been detained by U.S. Forces for ten months. Despite everyone in the world saying that these five are not terrorists, but were in Iraq as guests of the prime minister (that would be the democratically-elected prime minister), the Cheney regime argues that these five were in fact members of Iran's revolutionary guard and helped plan and train for attacks on U.S. Forces. There doesn't seem to be much evidence either way, though I have a hard time believing that the U.S. would just release five men accused of attacks on U.S. Forces if there was hard evidence proving it. Of course Obama is a muslim after all (false). That said, this story seems to say more about the Cheney regime's refusal to try anyone they detained in public rather than Obama releasing arab people who may or may not be terrorists.
The Real Reason Obama Did not Go to Kenya on His Africa Tour: And here we get to the heart of the conservative Obama-hate. Obama linked to an evil Kenyan dictator. Of course! Obama is half-Kenyan after all, and since all people who come from nations not called the United States know each other it makes perfect sense. (Note: Obama was born in Hawaii, which is in fact a part of the United States. He's as much from Kenya as my white ass is. And all Decepticons who are insisting that he is not a U.S. citizen should just stop, because it only makes everyone realize what a douchey idiot you are.) The problem is that everything about this story is false. It comes from some asswipe's book on Obama that failed even the basic editorial task of checking one's facts. Obama didn't support either party in Kenya, and during his visits shared a stage with both party leaders while speaking on such evil topics as AIDS awareness in Africa (something Bush did as well, because he, too, is evil). Also, as if to further drive home the point that idiots are given book-deals, the violence in Kenya has been attributed to numerous parties. Look it up at Factcheck.org if you want. Good journalism work Decepticons!
2. The Conspiracy to Keep You Poor and Stupid.
If “Atlas Shrugs” was an homage to “greed is good” then The Conspiracy to Keep You Poor and Stupid is a big, fat oral gratification to the economic elites of the world. Author Donald L. Luskin is in fact one of many fast-money, investor advisors who own a great deal of responsibility for the economic bullshit we have today, by forwarding a myth that investing in the stock market is the way to a comfortable retirement at the very worst (which couldn't be further from the truth). And, like giant jackasses, these idiots refuse to even acknowledge the utter wrongness of that idea.
“…anyone who says we’re in a recession, or heading into one—especially the worst one since the Great Depression—is making up his own private definition of recession.”
- Donald L. Luskin.
So basically the gist of his blog is: “Pity we rich people, for we have it so hard. If only everyone else would just accept it. I'm rich, I don't understand why everyone else isn't rich too...” What Luskin won't admit is that he, and many like him, are rich because they lack integrity, honesty, and are willing to do things that are shady. Of course he sees every policy, article, argument, or opinion as an attack on his “hard-earned” riches, and seems to think only the rich pay taxes (uhhh... what?) Obviously he's anti-worker, anti-tax, anti-health care, anti-anything moral. Apparently, to Luskin, the country would be better off if we just recanted every law and let everyone scam each other, and see who comes out with the most money. On health care he repeats tirades that must be required study materials for all Decepticons. I totally forgot how our current system is doing so well. Luskin doesn't seem to be in a rush to mention how health care costs in our current system negatively impact businesses (that would be devastating to his argument...). But he does go on to state how cost-shifting is going to force private companies to jack up their rates. To paraphrase numerous republicans when responding to pro-worker anything: “If they can't be competitive then they deserve to lose.”
3.Tigerhawk
This blog on the surface looks pretty normal for a Decepticon. Some posts about current goings on, with some criticisms thrown in. What's the problem? Well take a look at the archives. Posts made pre-2008 are all how awesome the west under the George W. Bush regime is. After 2008, and suddenly we're in iminent danger of collapse because of liberal policy.
This guy (or girl, or tiger, or hawk), like all Decepticons, likes to ignore one glaring, unforgiving reality: Conservative policies have failed. Miserably. You guys needed no help in crippling western civilization. And to act like it all went south circa November 2008 is frighteningly ignorant.
4. IMAO (In My Assholish Opinion, or whatever)
For gun nutsacks, commie-haters, people who think treating animals humanely is somehow a breach on their freedom to enjoy burgers, or all three this blog is for you. Let me just say first off that I don't buy it. Whenever I hear the truly empassioned opinions of ultra-conservatives, it's like that guy who's pretentiously artsy just to be purposefully annoying. They aren't really artsy, they just play it up. That's what this blog makes me think of. I'm not saying that this guy (or collection of guys? I would say "people" but that would be politically correct and wah, wah, wah...) has a secret stash of Marxist readings that he hides from his friends, but I think he takes his posts over the top on purpose. It's a kind of "look at me" syndrome that almost all teenage girls have. It's annoying when its a teenage girl; it's just sad when it's a forty-year-old dude.
So his posts range from fellating guns to the old Decepticon habit of calling people who aren't racist racist. The Sotomayor posts are numerous, and they all say the same thing: "We don't like Sotomayor because she's not a white male, and everyone who does like her is racist. We'll just completely ignore her actual credentials, and then blame liberals for focusing on race..." How do these arguments get made anywhere without a swift MMA style beating not immediately following? Hey white guys: cry me a river. You want to know why a latina woman was nominated? It's because all the old, white asswipes your boy Bush nominated were useless idiots. It's not a hard equation. Do you really want to bring up the Constitution while we have Judge "Consti-What?" Alito on the Supreme Court. That jackass couldn't comprehend a menu at Denny's if he had someone read and explain it to him.
Basically I can sum up this entire blog in two sentences, and save everyone from being made dumber just from reading it: Sotomayor is racist. Obama is a womanizing racist. Done. You can thank me for never having to visit this blog on your own later. (Side note: I always find it hilarious that people who worship Ronald Reagan as God, make fun of people because the Reaganophiles think they worship Obama as God.)
5. doubleplusundead
Let me see if I get the logic of your second post here, doubleplus: Iranian law forbids executing women who are virgins, so some guy force-marries and rapes sentenced women on the night of their execution, because an agenda-fueled website says so. Well hell, let's nuke the whole region because obviously every Iranian is guilty. I mean, it's not like it is over here in 'civilized' western nations where we have freedom, and no one is ever falsely accused, executed because of false accusations, or raped. Only barbarians do that! Let's invade! This kind of anti-thought gives me a headache. I have a better idea. Let's invade ourselves because some communist propaganda film from the sixties explicitly shows that Americans eat their children. We must protect the kids!
What else do we have here? Oh look, more "I'm a giant racist, so therefore Sonia Sotomayor must be too..." posts. At least here, we get an admission: "Seeing as how I'm just an ignorant white male, I'm not wise enough to tease out how that makes any goddamn sense. Stupid me." Good job, doubleplus. At least you're honest.
And here we come to the crux of Decepticon thinking: "Look, I bet this was just a clerical error, but any opportunity to mock the lazy fucktards in the O-Ministration must be seized. That's what those fucking dipshit syphilitic bastards of a fucking motherless whore did to Bush every time some low level hack who never even met the President would fuck up, so let's pay them back." Let me be as clear as I can on this, so that the Decpticons don't get all confused and start calling me a racist. No one mocked the Bush regime. The Bush regime and their lazy, non-intellectual approach to everything did that for us. And pointing out that the Bush regime's terrible, failure-soaked ideas were just that is not mockery. It's reporting. Does that mean Obama won't fail spectacularly? I don't know. What I do know is that if he does manage to pull this country out of the republican-induced tailspin, we should get ready for a resounding Decepticon chorus of: "It's the Bush tax cuts, and war on terror(tm) taking effect."
Besides the fact that it was named after the shitty book that seems to have presented a central theme for republicans over the years (greed is good), Atlas Shrugs is a blog by Pamela Geller who's credentials include... well it seems she has the same credentials that I have (i.e. none). Somehow she's managed to scam her credential-less ass into some public-speaking gigs. But as for her blog, it becomes pretty obvious what her agenda is (but conservatives don't have an agenda, only liberals, gays, and terrorists have agendas...), so let's look at the most recent posts.
Iran Revolution Day 30 Here's one about a woman who was arrested and raped by Iranian police after a protest. Okay that's not too bad. Probably a good story to get out there.
Ah, here we go. In the same post we get to the “Obama is a terrorist, muslim, dark-skinned, anti-christ” post. Wow, the Decepticons are going to cling to that song until their dying day. So here we have the “story” about President Barack Obama (no mention of pentagon, armed forces, or congressional officials is made, as if Obama was sitting in the Oval Office late one night and said to himself: 'You know what? I'm going to randomly release Iranians..”) releasing five Iranians who had been detained by U.S. Forces for ten months. Despite everyone in the world saying that these five are not terrorists, but were in Iraq as guests of the prime minister (that would be the democratically-elected prime minister), the Cheney regime argues that these five were in fact members of Iran's revolutionary guard and helped plan and train for attacks on U.S. Forces. There doesn't seem to be much evidence either way, though I have a hard time believing that the U.S. would just release five men accused of attacks on U.S. Forces if there was hard evidence proving it. Of course Obama is a muslim after all (false). That said, this story seems to say more about the Cheney regime's refusal to try anyone they detained in public rather than Obama releasing arab people who may or may not be terrorists.
The Real Reason Obama Did not Go to Kenya on His Africa Tour: And here we get to the heart of the conservative Obama-hate. Obama linked to an evil Kenyan dictator. Of course! Obama is half-Kenyan after all, and since all people who come from nations not called the United States know each other it makes perfect sense. (Note: Obama was born in Hawaii, which is in fact a part of the United States. He's as much from Kenya as my white ass is. And all Decepticons who are insisting that he is not a U.S. citizen should just stop, because it only makes everyone realize what a douchey idiot you are.) The problem is that everything about this story is false. It comes from some asswipe's book on Obama that failed even the basic editorial task of checking one's facts. Obama didn't support either party in Kenya, and during his visits shared a stage with both party leaders while speaking on such evil topics as AIDS awareness in Africa (something Bush did as well, because he, too, is evil). Also, as if to further drive home the point that idiots are given book-deals, the violence in Kenya has been attributed to numerous parties. Look it up at Factcheck.org if you want. Good journalism work Decepticons!
2. The Conspiracy to Keep You Poor and Stupid.
If “Atlas Shrugs” was an homage to “greed is good” then The Conspiracy to Keep You Poor and Stupid is a big, fat oral gratification to the economic elites of the world. Author Donald L. Luskin is in fact one of many fast-money, investor advisors who own a great deal of responsibility for the economic bullshit we have today, by forwarding a myth that investing in the stock market is the way to a comfortable retirement at the very worst (which couldn't be further from the truth). And, like giant jackasses, these idiots refuse to even acknowledge the utter wrongness of that idea.
“…anyone who says we’re in a recession, or heading into one—especially the worst one since the Great Depression—is making up his own private definition of recession.”
- Donald L. Luskin.
So basically the gist of his blog is: “Pity we rich people, for we have it so hard. If only everyone else would just accept it. I'm rich, I don't understand why everyone else isn't rich too...” What Luskin won't admit is that he, and many like him, are rich because they lack integrity, honesty, and are willing to do things that are shady. Of course he sees every policy, article, argument, or opinion as an attack on his “hard-earned” riches, and seems to think only the rich pay taxes (uhhh... what?) Obviously he's anti-worker, anti-tax, anti-health care, anti-anything moral. Apparently, to Luskin, the country would be better off if we just recanted every law and let everyone scam each other, and see who comes out with the most money. On health care he repeats tirades that must be required study materials for all Decepticons. I totally forgot how our current system is doing so well. Luskin doesn't seem to be in a rush to mention how health care costs in our current system negatively impact businesses (that would be devastating to his argument...). But he does go on to state how cost-shifting is going to force private companies to jack up their rates. To paraphrase numerous republicans when responding to pro-worker anything: “If they can't be competitive then they deserve to lose.”
3.Tigerhawk
This blog on the surface looks pretty normal for a Decepticon. Some posts about current goings on, with some criticisms thrown in. What's the problem? Well take a look at the archives. Posts made pre-2008 are all how awesome the west under the George W. Bush regime is. After 2008, and suddenly we're in iminent danger of collapse because of liberal policy.
This guy (or girl, or tiger, or hawk), like all Decepticons, likes to ignore one glaring, unforgiving reality: Conservative policies have failed. Miserably. You guys needed no help in crippling western civilization. And to act like it all went south circa November 2008 is frighteningly ignorant.
4. IMAO (In My Assholish Opinion, or whatever)
For gun nutsacks, commie-haters, people who think treating animals humanely is somehow a breach on their freedom to enjoy burgers, or all three this blog is for you. Let me just say first off that I don't buy it. Whenever I hear the truly empassioned opinions of ultra-conservatives, it's like that guy who's pretentiously artsy just to be purposefully annoying. They aren't really artsy, they just play it up. That's what this blog makes me think of. I'm not saying that this guy (or collection of guys? I would say "people" but that would be politically correct and wah, wah, wah...) has a secret stash of Marxist readings that he hides from his friends, but I think he takes his posts over the top on purpose. It's a kind of "look at me" syndrome that almost all teenage girls have. It's annoying when its a teenage girl; it's just sad when it's a forty-year-old dude.
So his posts range from fellating guns to the old Decepticon habit of calling people who aren't racist racist. The Sotomayor posts are numerous, and they all say the same thing: "We don't like Sotomayor because she's not a white male, and everyone who does like her is racist. We'll just completely ignore her actual credentials, and then blame liberals for focusing on race..." How do these arguments get made anywhere without a swift MMA style beating not immediately following? Hey white guys: cry me a river. You want to know why a latina woman was nominated? It's because all the old, white asswipes your boy Bush nominated were useless idiots. It's not a hard equation. Do you really want to bring up the Constitution while we have Judge "Consti-What?" Alito on the Supreme Court. That jackass couldn't comprehend a menu at Denny's if he had someone read and explain it to him.
Basically I can sum up this entire blog in two sentences, and save everyone from being made dumber just from reading it: Sotomayor is racist. Obama is a womanizing racist. Done. You can thank me for never having to visit this blog on your own later. (Side note: I always find it hilarious that people who worship Ronald Reagan as God, make fun of people because the Reaganophiles think they worship Obama as God.)
5. doubleplusundead
Let me see if I get the logic of your second post here, doubleplus: Iranian law forbids executing women who are virgins, so some guy force-marries and rapes sentenced women on the night of their execution, because an agenda-fueled website says so. Well hell, let's nuke the whole region because obviously every Iranian is guilty. I mean, it's not like it is over here in 'civilized' western nations where we have freedom, and no one is ever falsely accused, executed because of false accusations, or raped. Only barbarians do that! Let's invade! This kind of anti-thought gives me a headache. I have a better idea. Let's invade ourselves because some communist propaganda film from the sixties explicitly shows that Americans eat their children. We must protect the kids!
What else do we have here? Oh look, more "I'm a giant racist, so therefore Sonia Sotomayor must be too..." posts. At least here, we get an admission: "Seeing as how I'm just an ignorant white male, I'm not wise enough to tease out how that makes any goddamn sense. Stupid me." Good job, doubleplus. At least you're honest.
And here we come to the crux of Decepticon thinking: "Look, I bet this was just a clerical error, but any opportunity to mock the lazy fucktards in the O-Ministration must be seized. That's what those fucking dipshit syphilitic bastards of a fucking motherless whore did to Bush every time some low level hack who never even met the President would fuck up, so let's pay them back." Let me be as clear as I can on this, so that the Decpticons don't get all confused and start calling me a racist. No one mocked the Bush regime. The Bush regime and their lazy, non-intellectual approach to everything did that for us. And pointing out that the Bush regime's terrible, failure-soaked ideas were just that is not mockery. It's reporting. Does that mean Obama won't fail spectacularly? I don't know. What I do know is that if he does manage to pull this country out of the republican-induced tailspin, we should get ready for a resounding Decepticon chorus of: "It's the Bush tax cuts, and war on terror(tm) taking effect."
Thursday, July 9, 2009
The employer guide to not being assholes.
Everywhere you look, there are rules. Some make sense (don't walk in front of moving vehicles), and some are plain stupid (don't say bad words). But there seems to be one group relatively free of these kinds of restraints: employers. Unlike everyone else, employers have two rules (and they may or may not follow them, however they choose), and those rules are: Don't be racist, and don't fire people for being handicapped. The fact that these had to be written out for anyone is proof that only the stupid are allowed to run businesses. Considering that most people have large documents full of rules that they MUST follow (most employees get a one-hundred page handbook that basically says: "Do all this stupid shit, or you're fired. And even if you do comply, you could be fired anyway"), I've decided to give employers their "employer handbook." Failure to comply with these standards is grounds for stealing all your shit, and calling off work on Friday because we couldn't wait until the weekend to start drinking.
*Special note: this guide is not only for employers, but anyone who finds themselves in an employer-like position, i.e. a customer. Whether purchasing goods, or services, these guidelines will keep you from getting spit-like substances in your Whopper.
Rule #1: Don't act like tyrants.
This is very easy. Just because you pay someone for something does not make you a royal prince who should be having their ass wiped with golden toilet paper. Can you refuse the service/product if said service/product that you are paying for is of a quality that even impoverished children would refuse? Yes, you can. Can you expect above and beyond what the product/service provides including free extras? No you cannot.
Examples:
If an employee crashes your company's server because he didn't get the porno = virus memo, it is acceptable to discuss your displeasure in civil tones.
If there is no work to do, it is NEVER acceptable to expect employees to do your menial shit, such as sweeping your floor. You may ask for volunteers, but you cannot demand such a thing.
Remember! Imagine if you called a plumber to fix your toilet at noon, but the part you ordered wouldn't arrive until four o'clock. Would you make the plumber mow your lawn? If you said "yes," please proceed to punch yourself in the face until you are unconscious for everyone's benefit, because you are part of the problem. Also remember! Always be civil. Raised voices, threats, and talking down to are never allowed unless death and/or injury are involved. The next time an employee misplaces a box of tape rolls, and you want to explode on them, calm down and realize that no one gives a flying fuck about your tape rolls.
Rule #2: Basic essentials are NOT optional.
Working equipment, safety gear, and descent facilities must be provided. If it is impossible to provide these things, then stop doing business. Expecting the employee to provide these things for themselves is out of the question, unless the employee is properly compensated. To keep things simple: don't expect your ten-dollar-an-hour workers to buy their own screwdrivers, earplugs, safety gloves, laptops, pens, ink, etc. Also, clean your restrooms once in a while (don't expect your employees to do it for you - see rule #1).
Rule #3: Shit does in fact happen.
Life is unavoidable, no matter how many delusional people think otherwise. Cars break down, traffic is terrible, alarm clocks don't go off, machinery breaks down (quite often if you insist on using machinery that was high-tech in nineteen forty goddamned five), things get lost, and so on. Acting like these things don't happen, or that employees should know in advance of these things happening in insanity. So stop it.
Rule #4: Not all circumstances are the same.
An employee who is five minutes late on a rare occasion because their car broke down is not the same as an employee who is late every day of every month because of a drug addiction. An employee who accidentally deletes one important memo because of a momentary lapse is not the same as an employee who deletes every important memo because they can't read. And before you say: "But if you treat them differently, the second employee will get mad and possibly sue," let me say this: If the second employee gets mad, I concede that you should have the right to bitch-slap them every day for a month. If they sue, it's because you treat their drug addiction and/or inability to read as if they came into your office, gave you the finger, and then shit on your desk. Everyday life shit happens (see rule #3).
Rule #5: Memoes and meetings solve nothing.
When things go wrong at your workplace, the immediate reaction is to write memoes or hold meetings or post signs lecturing all employees about some frivolous mistake "so that it doesn't happen again..." This is the least productive thing you can do with your time. These things fail to work because they miss an important step in the Problem Solving Method that gives almost all employers a boner. That's the "research and address the problem" step. Throwing a fit via memo, sign, or lecture/meeting does neither because in order to "research and address the problem" you must LISTEN. Speak to the affected employees, and refrain from rehashing your favorite porn scene in your head while they are talking. Two civilized adult discussing in a rational way does far more than one rational adult and a stupid sign.
Rule #6: Your shit is ultimately worthless.
Since the popular trend is to "think of employment as owning your own business" this rule applies to all paying customers. Whether you are buying a DVD player or someone else's time and effort, the shit you are buying, selling, or making is worthless. When you die, all of your stuff is going to get thrown away. Remember that the next time you want to get vein-popping angry over something as trivial as "who keeps leaving boxes in the wrong spot" or "why are there only twenty shower curtains when there should be twenty five." Getting mad about these things only proves that your parents don't love you.
*Special note: this guide is not only for employers, but anyone who finds themselves in an employer-like position, i.e. a customer. Whether purchasing goods, or services, these guidelines will keep you from getting spit-like substances in your Whopper.
Rule #1: Don't act like tyrants.
This is very easy. Just because you pay someone for something does not make you a royal prince who should be having their ass wiped with golden toilet paper. Can you refuse the service/product if said service/product that you are paying for is of a quality that even impoverished children would refuse? Yes, you can. Can you expect above and beyond what the product/service provides including free extras? No you cannot.
Examples:
If an employee crashes your company's server because he didn't get the porno = virus memo, it is acceptable to discuss your displeasure in civil tones.
If there is no work to do, it is NEVER acceptable to expect employees to do your menial shit, such as sweeping your floor. You may ask for volunteers, but you cannot demand such a thing.
Remember! Imagine if you called a plumber to fix your toilet at noon, but the part you ordered wouldn't arrive until four o'clock. Would you make the plumber mow your lawn? If you said "yes," please proceed to punch yourself in the face until you are unconscious for everyone's benefit, because you are part of the problem. Also remember! Always be civil. Raised voices, threats, and talking down to are never allowed unless death and/or injury are involved. The next time an employee misplaces a box of tape rolls, and you want to explode on them, calm down and realize that no one gives a flying fuck about your tape rolls.
Rule #2: Basic essentials are NOT optional.
Working equipment, safety gear, and descent facilities must be provided. If it is impossible to provide these things, then stop doing business. Expecting the employee to provide these things for themselves is out of the question, unless the employee is properly compensated. To keep things simple: don't expect your ten-dollar-an-hour workers to buy their own screwdrivers, earplugs, safety gloves, laptops, pens, ink, etc. Also, clean your restrooms once in a while (don't expect your employees to do it for you - see rule #1).
Rule #3: Shit does in fact happen.
Life is unavoidable, no matter how many delusional people think otherwise. Cars break down, traffic is terrible, alarm clocks don't go off, machinery breaks down (quite often if you insist on using machinery that was high-tech in nineteen forty goddamned five), things get lost, and so on. Acting like these things don't happen, or that employees should know in advance of these things happening in insanity. So stop it.
Rule #4: Not all circumstances are the same.
An employee who is five minutes late on a rare occasion because their car broke down is not the same as an employee who is late every day of every month because of a drug addiction. An employee who accidentally deletes one important memo because of a momentary lapse is not the same as an employee who deletes every important memo because they can't read. And before you say: "But if you treat them differently, the second employee will get mad and possibly sue," let me say this: If the second employee gets mad, I concede that you should have the right to bitch-slap them every day for a month. If they sue, it's because you treat their drug addiction and/or inability to read as if they came into your office, gave you the finger, and then shit on your desk. Everyday life shit happens (see rule #3).
Rule #5: Memoes and meetings solve nothing.
When things go wrong at your workplace, the immediate reaction is to write memoes or hold meetings or post signs lecturing all employees about some frivolous mistake "so that it doesn't happen again..." This is the least productive thing you can do with your time. These things fail to work because they miss an important step in the Problem Solving Method that gives almost all employers a boner. That's the "research and address the problem" step. Throwing a fit via memo, sign, or lecture/meeting does neither because in order to "research and address the problem" you must LISTEN. Speak to the affected employees, and refrain from rehashing your favorite porn scene in your head while they are talking. Two civilized adult discussing in a rational way does far more than one rational adult and a stupid sign.
Rule #6: Your shit is ultimately worthless.
Since the popular trend is to "think of employment as owning your own business" this rule applies to all paying customers. Whether you are buying a DVD player or someone else's time and effort, the shit you are buying, selling, or making is worthless. When you die, all of your stuff is going to get thrown away. Remember that the next time you want to get vein-popping angry over something as trivial as "who keeps leaving boxes in the wrong spot" or "why are there only twenty shower curtains when there should be twenty five." Getting mad about these things only proves that your parents don't love you.
Monday, June 29, 2009
The World Is A Shitstain.
Several things have happened since my last post, and I don't want to cover any of them. No new gripes, just the same old shit: Work (is dumb), people (are dumber), and politics (tries to explain the dumb and ends up sounding dumbest). Working is a bad joke, republicans suck, and people are unimpressive. I think I've covered these bases already, and since the world is so full of shit, I have nothing new to report. Things remain pathetically the same. Way to go everyone!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Technology is dumb
I am a technology dork. I like things that make my life easier, and/or make my entertainment easier (and cheaper). But it seems technology has hit a wall that doesn't allow for really cool things to happen anymore. Case in point, search any technology news source and what is everyone talking about?
Is it some awesome Linux distro that's going to make Windows its bitch?
Is it a new website where all the information you might ever need in your lifetime is made readily available and searchable?
No its something far, far more stupid:
Twitter.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Americans are being wowed by a service that lets you post texts for all to see giving up to date info as to what you are doing? And you think we don't need some kind of mass extermination? Let me put this as mildly as I can... Nobody needs, cares, or wants to see anything about what you are doing. Ever. Even your parents don't love you that much. There are absolutely zero people on this planet who might actually be interesting enough to use this service. I don't care if Jesus Christ himself returned to the earth. I don't want him updating in real time his everyday activities. Here, I'll save everyone some time:
The Most Interesting Person in the World is watching T.V.
There you go, you idiotic drones. You've been updated.
What's the other "hot" thing in tech these days? Something that would give Twitter a run for its money in the "further proof the West is in bad need of some genocide" category. iPhones and their "apps."
Examples of the most popular iPhone apps (from Apple's website): ringtones, movie trailers, and sticky notes. People, you have reached all new levels of suck. Where are the apps that will really serve a purpose. Apps like "You're being a cockface meter/alarm," or "Learn how to spell, asshole," or my personal favorite "automated phone user sterilizer." These apps would actually serve a purpose instead of intellectually pushing humanity closer to their ape cousins.
And to double the useless quotient, you can download an app to your iPhone so that you can Twitter. Someone drop the bombs, please.
The World Aflame is contemplating defecting to Al Qaeda, and wondering why all new technology must be given the dumbest names possible.
Is it some awesome Linux distro that's going to make Windows its bitch?
Is it a new website where all the information you might ever need in your lifetime is made readily available and searchable?
No its something far, far more stupid:
Twitter.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Americans are being wowed by a service that lets you post texts for all to see giving up to date info as to what you are doing? And you think we don't need some kind of mass extermination? Let me put this as mildly as I can... Nobody needs, cares, or wants to see anything about what you are doing. Ever. Even your parents don't love you that much. There are absolutely zero people on this planet who might actually be interesting enough to use this service. I don't care if Jesus Christ himself returned to the earth. I don't want him updating in real time his everyday activities. Here, I'll save everyone some time:
The Most Interesting Person in the World is watching T.V.
There you go, you idiotic drones. You've been updated.
What's the other "hot" thing in tech these days? Something that would give Twitter a run for its money in the "further proof the West is in bad need of some genocide" category. iPhones and their "apps."
Examples of the most popular iPhone apps (from Apple's website): ringtones, movie trailers, and sticky notes. People, you have reached all new levels of suck. Where are the apps that will really serve a purpose. Apps like "You're being a cockface meter/alarm," or "Learn how to spell, asshole," or my personal favorite "automated phone user sterilizer." These apps would actually serve a purpose instead of intellectually pushing humanity closer to their ape cousins.
And to double the useless quotient, you can download an app to your iPhone so that you can Twitter. Someone drop the bombs, please.
The World Aflame is contemplating defecting to Al Qaeda, and wondering why all new technology must be given the dumbest names possible.
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